Kabs Blog

Whats going on with me

drecqslittleone — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 19:00:15 +0000

I decided to use my next assignment to do a kind of recap post things ive been thinking about and whats been going on in the past few weeks … So here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

College yep that evil little word im back to school im enjoying my classes they all seem pretty easy so far the only one that i dread is yoga … dont get the wrong idea. i absolute love it but i dread the pain and soreness i get from after it. I use muscles i never thought i owned before. But thats okay im getting use to it and i think i will take it again just to keep in shape. Not like i dont have the all equipment now so why not right? It suppose to also be very therapeutic on osteoporosis. SO its also helping me in other ways. Hm what else. Oh my History class is so boring. I want to fall asleep in that class. I normally like history too but this Professor does not put anything on the board so all our notes come from what we take down in lecture and she has one of those monotone voices. Makes me just want to catch some zzz’s. I almost got in trouble by master in that class cause she was boring so i started to text him. Yeah he mad eme pay attention sadly. He didnt wanan talk to his baby *sniff sniff*

Okay off the school subject what else to talk about. OH Master and i opened our own contest on IMVU. we got a pretty good turn out for it. I hope everything goes okay. I think our entries are going to be hard as heck to judge but thats why i got Master he can do all the judging and i can play the nice guy *wink wink* im only kidding. The end of the first week starts on wensday. I hope we are ready for it. I hope our contestants are ready for it.

On to the next life its the second life. Master and i have been getting really intouch with it. I think we both have a blast there. I know i do i think its very enjoyable. Master an i even have our own home now. It doesnt have a lot of furniture but it has some. Prim sizes are bitch to work with which really sucks. Other then that we having blast. Two of our friend lets us crash at there pad until we got our own place but i think now its much better with our own. We have also been going around clubbing which is totally cool. Last night something totally took me off guard. I got a IM in a club we were in from a random person. They said i think i know you from IMVU… i was like okay… wtf i figured oh probably someone from Master fetlife group but i was wrong. I asked them what there imvu sn name was and she told me and i about spazzed it was a really good from of Master and mine she is now on sl with her RL master which is wonderful to hear. We spent the night with playing a dice game. I enjoyed it throughly. It got Master social and active and i loved that . Its what we went to SL to find some friends to get social and active with. I liked this club called the forum alot the people seemed friendly i hope to visit there again.

They used alot of voice and now master trying to get me to use voice. BUT i am sooooo shy. I dunno how well that will work out. He can voice right…. i mean i remember vent and how red i got… i dont knwo why typing is easier but it just is. Though a plus to voice is i say i laugh alot more and it seems Master gets more into hanging out with the people when voice chat in enable with them. I dunno it has its pluses and minuses. I have a feeling Master will get me voicing eventually but i think it will take a lot of push and shove just like it did when we voiced with Oto and Lilly.

So why did this blog mean something to me. Well its about my life and my life means everything to me. Whats a life with out love friends and laughter. So thats why i blogged about it. It was all that came to mind and i think i did pretty good on it. I hope you enjoyed reading it Master. I know in time things willg et better with our sociable sides and with me being closer to You. Though i think now with working with what we have i think we are doin spectacular job

Word Count : 811

Tuesday Night

drecqslittleone — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 18:38:19 +0000

Weel Master has been trying really hard to dive deeper into his role. I think for this being the first time we ever done anything via webcam besides corner punishments he did absolutely well. The day started like any other Master texted me inbetween my classes telling me to be prepared that he was taking full control that i wasnt allowed any period. Kind of shocked me but i wont lie it did get me excited… okay reallly excited. I been waiting for a time like this and i wanted him to take the first steps to it instead of me asking for it. I think it meant more that he came to me just saying he was going to do it and i had no option. It really put our our roles in perspective. He didnt ask he told me. I loved it.

All through my classes i was having trouble concentrating i didnt know what to expect and it was eating away at me. I worried how strict he be. Will he let me slide like he does sometimes or will he actually emerge and be that Master that i know that is deep down inside. I think he did very well and that master started to come out. I think he could have come out a little further but im not being picky. It was only our first time and i hope that he takes fully control like that again. It was great i felt like i had purpose i felt in my role for once. Yes i feel in role when we have scenes but tuesday i felt emersed in it. I havent felt like that since he was down.

I think what shocked me the most was that i was thinking he only be doing online things but i was much more excited when he took it majority offline as well. I was not expecting that at all. He finally stepped up to the plate. What do i think he could improve on. Yes i love the control he took offline but i also was kinda looking forward to the online control. I think we need to work on balancing the two out. Their is both and i think emphasis needs to placed into both dont let one out weigh the other. That being said as far things i enjoyed offline… i really loved how he coached me. How he talked to me as if i was dirty girl. Telling me what and how to do and the forcefulness in his voice was wonderful. I wish he would have done more of it. Maybe thats another point we can work on.

As far as doing this night again yes a million times. I cant believe how much fun we had… well atleast i know i did. I loved the feeling i was pleasing him at that point intime i really felt under him and to a sub and to me thats the greatest feeling in the world. I loved it. as far as aftercare i think it was okay it could be worked on a little. I wish we could have talked the scene out a little bit more. I wanted to know if he liked how i did things what he didnt like. How everything went instead of him just saying i did great. I think the communication level needed to open up a bit more. Though as i said before its only the first time and im hoping for many more times after this. Maybe if im lucky. There is one thing i didnt like and im going to stress this alot. I do not like mixing my two sides that in depth. A little mix is okay but if im in sub role i do not want to think about my little girl i cant period. Master trys to mix the two more and more and im trying to say i just cant do it. Its either a little night or a sub night not both. Its just to hard on my mind.

As far as things to do online id like more control i dont know how to imput more control online maybe going shopping and you pick out everything no matter what i say. Maybe going to clubs and having me gaged the entire time or the opposite making me be social and talkitive even if i dont want to. Maybe enforcing me to chat through mic. Those are just some ideas im sure Master you will have plenty more. As far as offline ideas. If we continue to do offline actives which i hope we do id like to hear you talk to to me tell me how im doing tell me what u want to see change she talk me through it. I like to hear your voice when im that sub area its calming and gives me the drive to strive for more. As things i would like to see is it to be stepped up a few notches. Not much but a few maybe included a few new rules practices ect. Though one thing i want to change is the times we do offline actives. I think if we going to do a controlling day. We make it an all nighter affair. It starting online with control doing whatever then when offline activitys comes its hitting or past 12pm for myself why i ask this is just safety precaution. So nobody walks in on us.

Other then those small minor things i think tuesday night went absolutely well would i liek to see it again very very much so. Did it surprise the utter hell out of me YES and thats what made it all the more better. You did wonderful i am so happy to see you start emerge from your shell. I didnt mean for my words before to sting so much but they really opened your eyes and caused you to look hard at yourself. I dont think we would have ever made it as far as we are now had i not said them. Though i am still sorry for being so harsh. I love You.

word count: 1034

One more time

drecqslittleone — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:51:48 +0000

Another update hm well i guess here goes nothing what has this sub been up to over the past weeks. Well i have started back to classes in preperation for me moving to Master i wish it would happen sooner honestly. I hate the waiting its so hard. Master has since come to my home and met my family they all really like him and they approve. Which was big weight lifter off my chest. When Master was down we had a small issue with going into our roles and i said somethings i wish i had said a little more nicely cause i think i really hurt him even though it also opened his eyes. He finally saw what i do and im glad that he has finally made the decision that he has been needing to make. He has been doing a whole lot better he been getting out their trying new things and this time he doesnt seem so afraid he seems like he really wants to do it which makes me proud.

Master and i have slowly been making the switch from Imvu to Second Life. Giving our distance between each other it gives us much more to do together. Our friends say there are places to look out for and that scares me a little bit because i love to roam and ill admit i can be a little naive at times. I just hreat i hope we make hope everything goes great and make more friends through this experince. Master has been talking about starting to try and make clothes. I love this idea cause the more he figures it out then the more he can show me. Sure i cant make them make them but i am a texture artist so i can make them look pretty… i hope. There’s a lot that goes into it i see. I can also see Master making naughty furniture in his 3d program and even homes. I think he would do wonderful. He just needs to get a scripter

Other then all that nothing else has been really going on. Beside SL on imvu we have become apart of a new group and are now running our own contest which is exciting. Although i dont know how much time in room we will get on imvu now that we have started to make the switch to SL. I can see why now many of our lifestyle friends made the change and why they never looked back. I dont think i could desert my forums i just have to much fun on those but i can see me going on client on imvu less and less. Secondlife caters lot better to what Master and i are looking for and what we need. Im glad he finally talked me into trying it out.

Tears and fears

drecqslittleone — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 19:08:58 +0000

So MAster asked me to an assignment of what i feel about the engagement moving down there etc. So here it is i’m starting the assignment now. Gosh school is starting soon in only a few a weeks im ready to go back and get everything going again. I geting extremely bored at home ill be glad when school starts it will help me keep my mind of things. Being home i keep contasntly thinking about home much i wanna be there with him in his arms. Its so hard. I know he is coming in august to visit i wish he was here now. Like right now. Im been in a lot of lah moods lately i think its cause i get bored and then i start thinking of what would it be like if we were living together if i was snuggling up to him.You know that kind of stuff it kills me to know we cant be justa normal regular couple like others. I get jealous when i see other couples holding hands walking down the street or even showing PDA. They dont know how lucky they are. Id kill to be able to do that every day. I know though that if i stick it through it will all be worth it.

What do i think about my engagement. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I wish people in my family would take it more seriously. There been alot of tension at home lately i duno why its just i feel laely i dont want to be here at all. Maybe its cause i got a taste of the good life and now i want the whole fountain? As far as our marriage part of me wants a wedding evening if it is small. Though in the back of my mind i know what kind of problems that would spew and its suppose to be a good day with no fights. Im afraid thats all it will turn into is just one big fight. My mother doesnt like the idea of me wanting a justice of the peace wedding. SHe really doesnt like it. Though its not her decision its mine and Masters right? I think Master wants a wedding to but he just wont admit i dont want to be the bad guy. I dont think i should cave in even though part of me says to. I dunno what to do i feel like im torn apart inside by thinking about it. Then i think about how much i wanna be with Master everything in head is in turmoil. I have a great life i know this and this are just trivial problems. Because in the end its not about a wedding or an engagement its about being with the man i love for the rest of my life. The whole growing old together senario its a great dream thats going to become a reality.

As far as moving to Kentucky i am super excited about that. I love the idea of being out of my parents house and away from their controlling natures. which is good. There are things i worry about. I wont have any friends down there. Sure Master says the few friends i have met of his will be my friends too. But they still are just His friends. I dunno maybe im bein superficial. It willt ake time to get use to the small town life as well. Im am use to big city and everything being open 24/7 down there its not. The towns are probably as big as my toenail ha. Though im done the small town life before its not that bad. I love the senary out there as well it so pretty and no smoggy which is great. I think when Master flys down here in august he is in for a real eyeopener and i hope he doesnt turn around and run. Then id just be devasted.

Sometimes i think and im dng the right thing or am i just moving to fast. I think thats my commitment issue talking cause the second i look at who i am marrying and what he really means to me i could never imagine a moment without him. He is my rock. He will always be there for me and i for him. Im glad he asked me to marry him because if he didnt id probably be asking him this august haha telling he taken to damn long lol. But i didnt have to wait. He took charge like always and thta what i love about him,

As far as school in KY i dont really care where i go as along as we can sustain ourselfs. I dont want us struggling to make just cause i moved there. No it has to be done right. As long as im with him then thats all the really matters to me. I know it will take alot of time to get there though and he has to realize that. Sometimes i think he wants everything right now but its not going to happent hat way its going to take time effort and lots of negotiations. Its going to be a hard call int he end. We just have to make it work but we also have to look at thing realistically. End of story. But am i excited abotu going there. I dont so much the starting over at a new school and such but its a challenge im ready to face head on if it means being able to wake up in his arms every morning.

Thats it for this assignment i cant wait till Master is here with me. I feel im going to bitch after he leaves. I was one when i left visiting him. Took me a week atleats to get out of my funk. I was pissy at everyone. Though at least when he leaves i will be going straight into classes so atleast i will have a little something to occupy my time and keep me from thinking miserable thoughts consentally. Either way i know this for sure. I love that man with more then i have ever known possible and i will continue to no matter what.

Whats Missing

drecqslittleone — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 19:41:41 +0000

Yes i asked you those questions because i wanted to see/hear your opinions before i openly shared mine but i guess i dont get that option seeing as you have asked me to do this assignment. I am going to ask you to write a blong for me before you read this one. Ill text you that request right now actually. Okay done now on to my assignment. This is a hard on me because i dont wanna make you feel bad plus some times i think i blow it out of proportion. But you asked me to think and put down on paper what i think our sides have been lacking… Honestly i dont think anything is lacking but i think we are letting things slip. A good example is this when around friends you use to be more controlling if you didnt like what i was wearing you would make me change your tone was different everything about you was different it was more of authorative aspect you took on. Lately that hasnt been there. On the little side around friends you may have tickled my sides played with my hair a bit. Little things that stood out to me. Now these arent the only things i have noticed you stopped doing but just a few examples. I miss the controlling sides and daddy affection side. I mean we went through an entire week to try and bring out my lil side to the public. Since that week its like now it dont matter if its out or not. Atleast so it seems. I dunno really else what to add here but just that lately it seems Master and Daddy times seem to hit a rut. Is that a bad thing no its not. Is it a good thing no its not either… I dont know what it is. As far as figuring something out to fix these ruts… I dunno im sorry to disappoint you but i dont have a clue… Because for me to come up for some sort of idea to fix it i need an explanation… I need to know why things have slipped on your end. Is it something ive let slip… something ive done? Is it something i havent done? You cans ay its not me but we both know that i contribute just as much to this as you do. So you tell me if im lacking somewhere or have over stepped my bounds. Maybe it just us getting to the point where we done all we can. I dunno but for it to be fixed to feel like it use to i know one thing for certian we need to open this communication back up

As for my second week hm….. You asked me two questions things i want to see and dont want to see. I believe you asked me this before in a previous blog but that has been so long ago it wont hurt to restate my thoughts on it. I am looking forward to the second week but honestly i hate to say this until we have the issues above worked out … i dont think we either of us are ready to start a second week anytime soon. Something i would like to see… Well i have one request i would like petal training to be fully complete at least her first round done (as training never ends) before i start my second week. Maybe im being selfish but i know it will be a tough week for me and i have to be completely focused i dont think i will be if i trying to help her. I would like to see more public time wether we are doing something devious or not Just so i can be proud to say hey this my Master and look how much he cares for me kinda thing. I want the small touches back like stated in the both issue. I think those touches make a week. I also maybe would like to see a combined sub and little side in my second week. Like how you use to do…Make my lil side battle my sub side with say public diaperings ect i dunno it really played up my humliation side. Thats just some thoughts. As far as real life im game for almost anything as long as it wont disturb my family and risk them walking in on something i shouldnt be doing. I want everything done in a safe enviroment and just remember if i say no i mean it. I also would like you to listen if i say i cant do something that day because its to risky with people around dont mean i dont think i cant or wont do it another day when things are more quiet at home. You know all this as its not the first time we have done in RL stuff. I think it will be hard for me because at times i think i will want it to be you soft touches and you hands and be able to feel your breath its just going to be hard and i can already predict alot of tears.

Other then what i have posted thats about all i can contribute to these topics till i get like i said before more information. I love you with all my heart and soul and if you feel walking away from this i will glady follow. I will admitt you actions at time contridict each othe. I just know its getting harder and harder to read you because of the way you react to things. I just cant wait to read your blog and see how things are going on in your head and see if they relate to whats going in mine. I cant wait to marry you what is it they say for better or for worse i will always be beside you. I need nine more words so this is my space filler *giggles* Anyways i love you As Fiance, my Master and My daddy. Forever and Always.

Word Count 1019

Update

drecqslittleone — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 04:35:53 +0000

Omg so major things have happend since i last posted. Many probably wondering if im still with Master … i mean what no more assignments… i just poof right? Well yes Master and i are still together and striving. GUESS what i going to meet him finally face to face. Im flying to meet him on saturday im uber excited and nervous about flying there i mean i me and hima re like mash potatoes and gravy… err even tho i dont like gravy sooo um like a spoon and ice cream! I guess that works. Thats what im scared about what if i go down there and i blow things. I mean i dont wanna loose what i have with my Love and my Best friend but i also know that myself and Him couldnt continue on the path that we are on now we are just because we both are getting a little ansy and bit fed up with long distance. I mean sure it works for a while and it takes a lot to make it work but its not a permante thing and it cant last forever. So i am seeing him for a whole week. Im sure we will do wonderful and everything will bselee honky dory but i still hav thoughts in the back of my mind what if i do this what if he doesnt like that what if dont look cute enough what if what if what if. BAH laughs just call me a worry wart. But i know one thing i am waaaaaay excited !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now whats been going on in our D/s life oh lordie big things. Master has taken in another sub to train. petal originally we took her in just to train. I never imgained myself or Master being the types to wanting to extend our D/s family but we have strongly started to consider it. She has an innocence about her just like i do and the three of us mesh very well. But we have hit many bumps in the road and we are still unsure if we will take her full in. We decided no decisions will be made until her training is finished. petal is still wet behind the ears so to speak. Master and i want to give her a taste of everything we can so she can grow the experinces from it. Tonight was a rough night. petal and i were with Master in her training session and master started to be devious. He played with various toys and clips. He never done anything sexual or foreplay like with petal yet and he added clip to her clit. he wanted to see her reaction at frist she seemed very unsure and skiddish about it. But i think slowly she came around and got over her shock. Things arent always as bad as they seem. Though i messed up and kind back sassed Master .. tryign to cut the tension i relised it after the fact and felt like complete idiot. I brought it up to master in our private talk time. He assured me that he understands why i did it but that doesnt excuse me for doing it. I will punished later. But he said he forgives me. Im glad i didnt fully disappoint Master and im glad he could see my head wasnt clearly thinking. Sometimes my mouth likes to run away before my mind can catch up. He knows this but some times i wonder why he bothers. Ill just keep screwing up is all i can think at times. Im just glad my Master is there to keep a frim hand on my shoulder and shows me some one does care and he will always be there know matter how much i screw up. He loves me and i love Him.

Kabby update

drecqslittleone — Mon, 18 May 2009 04:29:25 +0000

So its been a long time since i have blogged. So here is the newest update. Master has brought a sub in to our family to train. I welcome her with open arms as she is a good friend of mine. The problem is i seem to be getting attached to her i will have a problem letting her go when her training is finally over. I will just gave to face that road when it comes. Master and i are meeting in less than a month and i am super dooper excited. I get one whole week to spend in his arms , how lucky am i really? I leave the 13th of june to fly down im scared and nervous and scared too what if i make my self look like a fool or and idiot in front of him. What if our first real kiss is bad and i dont see fireworks what if his parents and friends cant stand me…. There so many what if factors and i just cant stand stupid what ifs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Besides that master and i havent been so in tune with each other lately like normal. Like seems he jsut been wanting us time lately which isnt bad at all but ive been wanting alot of public time to. So it slike we butt heads. Idont want to tell him times cause i love us time i really and truly do. I feel if i tell him i want us to go out and spend time in public with others that he willt hink i dont want the us time. He has also been confusing me like crazy lately. Its like one minute he says something or does something i think he wants this and is in the mood for this and i tell him what ive been wanting and he turns around and says that he isnt really wanting to do anything like that or in the mood to do anything like that. Makes me at times feel im doing somethign wrong cause just too second agos you said this now your like changing mind. I understand if your not in the mood i can wait patiently or totally forget my mood and move on if ya want but dont toy with my head and act like you wanna do something then turn around and you in reality dont pick a side so i can judge my actions and how i do things. Sighs i know im just complaining and i love my Mike dearly he is my life he is my world he is my everything maybe we are both just to pumped up about june that we just arent clicking cause our thoughts and worries are else where at the moment i dunno really but i do know we willf igure it out we always do.

My thoughts

drecqslittleone — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 15:38:01 +0000

Well i think this is a good assignment that master gave me i start with question one. What do i think of Master training oto and my thoughts and feelings of him becoming a master. Well were do i start oh yes first the damn shock n awe of him wanting to be one. I remember how much worry him and lilly had when they found out we were of the lifestyle. Though once i got past all that i could see oto as a Master. He holds a trait many masters lack and thats respect. He respect his subs/slaves and what they are and do. Many Masters loose sight of this trait. I also think Master training him is also a good thing then throwing him out there. Oto getting a bad taste of the lifestyle cause he has no knowledge or even potential hurting a sub cause he lacks the knowledge or the know whys is not a very good thing. So i think the master training is good thing and i hope it all goes well.

Now for the second question. How have i liked things what can change how to implement them ect. Honestly i feel Master and i have everything down to a science. What we like dont like. We have learned each other so well that we know where to draw the line. Its because of this in tuneness that we have gotten into a groove. I think this is wonderful but sometimes i would like something that will shock me off guard. Like the night we had our first exhibitionist time that was nice cause i wasnt expected or the night that Kal found out about my little side and wyou took him to the nursery that shocked me. It took me off guard and made me go into my role wether i had the say so or not. I kinda like that but i wouldnt want it all the time ya know. But other then that i think we are doing an excellent job at knowing what we want when we want it and how we are doing. Our cool down sessions afterward help alot they let us determined what and how to make things better i think those in the long run we have benefitted the most from. Other then that i say we are doing perfectly fine… Well atleast i think so

The Bottom Line

drecqslittleone — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 04:19:22 +0000

I received this in a handout in my first english class in college. It has stuck with me ever since i am now sharing it with all of you. It have great meaning and message enjoy

The Bottom Line

Face it, nobody owes you a living,
What you achieve or fail to achieve in your life time is driectly related to what you do, or fail to do.
People don’t choose their parents or childhood, but you can choose your own direction.
Everyone has problems and obstacles to overcome, but that too is relative to each individual.
Nothing is carved into stone, you can change anything in your life, if you want to badly enough.
Excuses are for losers.
Those who take responsibility for their actions are the real winners in life.
Winners meet life’s challenges head on, knowing there are no guarantees , and give all they’ve got.
And never think it’s too late or too early to begin.
Time plays no favorites and will pass whether you act or not.
Take control of your life .
Dare to dream and take risks…
Compete.

Anonymous

God awful day

drecqslittleone — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 03:48:13 +0000

Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go the way you want it to. Well that was my day. I woke up with a bad case of PMS to put it bluntly. So i wake up and i promptly fell flat on my face by tripping over my dog that was just lovely. Then i go shower which my shower made late in leaving sigh. Then we left and it was okay i thought. Though no i was wrong. guess what if orgot to do i forgot to message Mike that i was leaving and he reminded that was the 3rd time i had done it and now my punishment will most likely follow. So i started freaking out not because that i was gonna be punished. But because i had forgotten to text him that i let him down again. That upset me horribly to the point i couldnt focus in class all iw anted to do was set things right with Mike make him not disappointed in me. If i could have erased the event i would have in a heart beat… gone to bed got back up again … sadly that isnt an option.

So after sitting in class not paying any attention to lecture thinking i needed to be on my best behavior to show my Master i can follow instructions and be good. Sadly ive done evertyhting to contridict that. Then i get to shop thinking i can take my frustrations and bitchyness out in my painting. Guess who shows up Amelia my sister friend whom i cant stand at all. This woman doesnt shut up is vulgar immature and everything that i can stand around a family orientiented business. It just made my day worse. Guess What it gets worse. So i paint and paint and paint then we clean up getting ready to leave what does miss clutz drop my mother goose thing she was painting. I decapitated the damn swan. I wanted to do nothing but cry. Everything went wrong. So i get past that and we are talking to the owner and then she mentions needing help and my mother goes. Cassie can come help she been wanting a job. Im thinking wtf. Well Liz the owner was like i dont wanna weigh her down with school so my mom big mouth goes well this summer she not in school. All ic an think is ive worked in ceramics i come here to relax to paint to enjoy myself if i start working her im not going to want to go there to paint on my days off. Gah so there went that. Now here i am home still all grumpy pissy and frusterated still feeling bad about letting down Mike when mike says tha his trainign went okay but he so doesnt want to do anything d/s or think aything d/s that makes me think is this training draining My Master i need to watch his best interest and if not if its putting him out of wanting to do anything where does that leave me sigh i over analyze things i know that but still today everything a mix of things been a raunchy day so i just pray tomorrow will be a better day so ill end one of my favorite poems

A Screamer Discusses Methods of Screaming
By : Howard Nemerov

We all scream, most of us inside
Outside is another world.
A neighbor fills her television dinner
With too much pepper and scream.
One woman stabs her door with a sword and screams.
Another, overweight, steps into the shower
And screams, “Fat! Fat! Fat!”
A man who takes flying lessons
Soars high in the clouds to scream.
Another dives to the bottom of his pool
Where he screams underwater
A friend cleans his gun, screaming “Assassin!”
I like an interior, smiling scream.
When you walk past me on the street
I nod my head to you and, smiling, scream
You never hear me through the smile
The inside scream has no echo.